Honest yet gentle...
We all make mistakes. That's a part of life. We can choose to blame the world for our mistakes and circumstances or we can accept responsibility for our situation and work toward improving it.
I've come to realize this really is an ALL or NOTHING proposition. We can't just take responsibility for the good things that happen and blame everyone else for the bad things. That's like playing, "heads-- I win; tails-- you lose." Take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life. Only then can you work to change it and improve it.
You need to be honest with yourself. As many a thought-leader or guru might say, "Live in your truth." You can question the beliefs you hold that don't serve you-- they were programmed into you by somebody else anyway. Find better beliefs that serve you, ones that inspire you and empower the people around you.
But be gentle with yourself, though. Don't beat yourself up or dwell in the blame/shame space very long. Accept your role in the situation and keep moving forward.